How To Make Salsa The Easy Way For Tontos

For all of you gente out there who like salsa but don't know how to
make it I offer the following simple recipe, diluted from my mother's
old-fashioned Mexican way of making it. She, of course, made it all
with fresh ingredients, roasting the chiles, roasting the tomatoes,
and grinding them by hand in her old volcanic stone "molcajete".
I still have it and use it when I'm not feeling lazy.

However, for us Microwave Raza, I have found a nice easy way
to make it, and not have to waste money on Pace Picante or the
fake stuff from New York City. Summer is a great time to make it
because everything is fresh. Buy some fresh yellow (hot) or
Jalapeno chiles and roast them on a grill, or hot plate, right on
your stove, regularly turning them so they roast evenly on all
sides. It's OK if the skin burns but not too much. But get ready for
your house to smell (stink) of roasted chiles!! You can open a few
windows or doors if you want. The neighbors may even knock on
your door and ask you if everything is alright. Next, if you're amb-
itious, roast fresh tomatoes, but you can use canned, stewed
tomatoes just as well. Recently, I've discovered stewed tomatoes
that even have Basil in them! Orale!

When roasted, peel the cooled chiles (you can even even put
them in pan of cold water to cool first) but a word of caution:
peeling them by hand can cause your "feengers" to burn, and
even if you wash them with soap and water, if you rub them
on your face or eyes later, you'll be sorry! (Ay, Chingao!) Some
people use plastic gloves to peel them, but I find I cannot work
at anything with gloves! Next, carefully pull off the stems. When
peeled, place 6-8 into a blender. You can clean out the seeds,
but Mexicans always leave them in. Add a cup of water and
quickly blend them (30 seconds?), or they get foamy! Pour
blended chiles into a bowl. Then put two cups of tomatoes
into the blender and do the same. If you use fresh roasted
tomatoes, peel them first. Now pour the blended tomatoes into
the chiles and mix. If the mixture is too pasty, add water.

The finishing touch is to take and peel 4-6 wedges of fresh
garlic, and blend those with a cup of water. Add garlic mix into
the sauce, a teaspoon of salt and stir. If the salsa is too damned
hot, or too thick, add more water and/or blend more tomatoes
and add, to taste! If the quantity is too much use only 3-4 chiles
and less tomatoes next time. You can also freeze some of the
finished salsa in a freezer bag, and defrost for any future use!
Voila: Ya estuvo. You are ready to enjoy. Warning: You'll
get hooked!

For those chile nuts out there, try roasting a dozen or more
chiles at one time, then putting them in freezer bags, to use
all year round. That way you can take advantage of the
taste of "fresh" chiles and get the good summer price for
them, especially from your local farmer's markets!

You can, of course do all this using a molcajete, and the
salsa always seems to taste even better that way. My
mother loved salsa so much, she would even put it on her
pancakes! Orale, ouch!!

For an "enchilada", when you eat a spoonful of salsa
and it burns the hell out of your lips and mouth, I have
no recipe, except that's what you get, pendejo!

I also know an easy recipe for making dynamite can-
ned chiles in vinegar. Let me know if you would like a
recipe for this.