May The Egg Always be With You Always
By the time
you read this it will be too late and the curse befallen you.
An article in our local Stockton, Ca. newspaper, The Record, appeared in the October 9 issue
concerning a medium-astrologer-“curandera”- diviner-Tarot Card reader named,
Maria Murillo Beltran, or “Madam Maria” in LA who has recently experienced a
rash of “spiritual cleansings” from customers who are hoping for some kind of “spiritual intervention” from the negative energies or forces should Donald
Trump (God forbid), or “El Tromp” as they call him, (I call him “Trompas”- one
with a trunk), be elected President. Nothing was said about Hillary, but I
don’t see why these cleansings wouldn’t work for her, too (maybe on another
side of town?) For thirty dollars a pop, she is alleviating their fears.
Using incense,
herbs, oils, prayers and eggs these types of spiritualists have eased the fears
of Mexicans for centuries, dating back to before the European conquest of the
Americas in the 1500s. However, the thin line between a “Curandero” (one who
cures), and a “brujo” (sorcerer) is blurred, and the two are often confused.
That line is masterfully explored in Rudolfo Anaya’s novel, “Bless Me, Ultima”, where good and evil
come toe-to-toe between the old woman, “Ultima,” (the ultimate one) and the
brujo “Tenorio.” In the end, the reader is left to assume that although she
“dabbles” in the black arts, she uses them for good, but at a price.
This stuff
has always intrigued me, but with healthy trepidation. My Tia Juana, was in
fact, a “sobadera” (masseuse), and more than once my mom forced me to
see her for treatment against the dreaded “empachada”,
or indigestion, after eating green, or unriped fruit, she claimed. I don’t know
what was more awful, the indigestion, cramps or diarrhea I had, or her painful
body massages! Other times, she would strap stinky, raw potatoes on my feet for
who knows what reason.
Sometime in the early 70s, I heard a
commercial on a local radio station that went something like this: “Are you
suffering from jealousy, failed romance, a husband who drinks or womanizes, or
a problem with your job? Well then, call ‘La Curandera Rosa” and she will help
you resolve your problem.” Another time, she announced that “Curandero
Convention” was to be held in San Jose. I recall wondering what it would
consist of, workshops and trading of latest supernatural concoctions?
The topic
inspired lively discussions in my Chicano Literature classes and students were
anxious to tell their own stories to about this ominous side of our culture.
One story concerned a woman here in Stockton, who was experiencing severe pain
each time she urinated. She was convinced that someone had put an evil spell on
her, but doctor-after-doctor just snickered and told her that she was just
being silly: “There is no such thing as an evil spell; go home and take an
aspirin.” Finally, one doctor told her “Ma’m, you are absolutely correct. You
are possessed by an evil spirit. I will give you some powerful medicine that
will banish the spirit from you. He then scribbled something on a piece of
paper. “Here, take this to a pharmacy and take the medicine as prescribed. In a
few days, you will notice that the color of your urine will gradually turn
yellow. When that happens, the spirit will be exorcised.” She followed his
instructions and was cured!
Not long ago
my wife and I had a “limpia” (cleansing) done. Since her medical problems have
mounted, friends (in good faith) continue to suggest all kinds of remedies,
teas, prayers, ointments, herbs which “my uncle used and was miraculously cured.”
One friend recently suggested a limpia which “worked miracles” on her. The
place was an unpretentious store front on West Lane. Although I was nervous, we
were greeted by a kindly old man who quickly put our fears to rest. On the
shelves was a vast array of potions, oils and powders, all boasting some kind
of protection against physical and spiritual woes.
He took us
into a darkened room and seated us. The room smelled of copal (incense) and on
his table sat candles, an array of religious statues, some Catholic and others crude
representations of “Aztec” dieties, I suppose. Overall, it was a pleasant
experience as he prayed over us, beseeching health, good fortune, a healing
of body and spirit, and protection from negative forces . He ended by taking a
glass of water, cracking an egg for each of us, and dropping it into the glass.
“If the egg floats, that is a good sign; if it sinks to the bottom, that
signifies bad luck.” Both of our eggs floated.
If you
happen to read this before November 8, 2016, crack you egg quickly and drop it
into a glass of water before it is too late! And after this tortuous election,
may your egg forever float!
PS: I must've sunk to the bottom because we got Senor Trump(ista) as President. Curses!!!