Anybody Hungry?

Just spent a week in mid-June in our trailer at Bodega Bay on the coast. On one weekend, Fernando our youngest son, brought ingredients for shish-ka-bob which we barbecued for dinner.

The colors of the speared food glowed and needless to say everyone, even the kids totally enjoyed the meal. We lived sinfully well that week, not like the old days when we used to "rough it" in tents.

In the days we sipped beer or wine, maybe a Bloody Mary or two and watched movies at night. Especially enjoyed watching pelicans dive for fish all around us.

Poor Man's Food: Cactus, Cacti Salad

How Mexcians figured out how to harvest and eat cactus you got me but it shines as a testament to their ingenuity over the centuries. Not only do cactus give water to quench one's thirst in the desert, but they are edible and part of the Mexican/Indigenous cuisine. In summer, the Tunas (cactus pears will be ripening and if you have never tasted one you are missing out on one of life's delicacies. How to peel the skin and avoid the disastrous spines, and get to the sweet pulply fruit inside, is another of life's mysteries and a credit to Mexicans. (I can tell you how on another espisode or if you simply ask).

The Aztecs would carefully peel back the thin layer of the cactus shoots, dry it and use it as paper to draw and paint on. The needles were carefully removed one at a time so that a long strand of skin would remain attached. Then they could sew with it.

Finally, they discovered that by drying the fibrous cores (skeleton of the plants) they would burn long and hot for fires. Strong ropes and cords were also woven from the tough fibers.

Image via Wikipedia

If you want to blow people away at your next party with something "ethnic" try making some Cactus Salad (Nopales). If you just happen to have a cactus plant in your back yard, cut slice off 4-6 new shoots, usually in spring, when they are bright green and tender. My mom insisted they must be cut before 10 AM or they will not keep that nice tart flavor.

Otherwise, you can buy the shoots whole or diced at many local super markets. If they are whole, you have to slice off the spines with a sharp knife. Danger: be careful not to stab yourself! Make sure the knife is sharp and that you get all of them! You can trim about 1/4 inch all the way around to get the ones on the edges. When done, cut into 1/2 inch strips, or dice into 1/2 inch squares. (Of course, you can cheat and buy some cactus in a can already cooked! Then skip the cooking part.)

Heat some water in a medium pan and toss in the diced cactus, with some garlic cloves, onions, and a dash of salt and boil (15 minutes?) until tender. Remove the cooked cactus and place them in a strainer and wash thoroughly with cold water until all the "slime" is removed. Then place in a large bowl to cool, while you dice fresh cilantro, avocado and tomatoes. When done, stir in and mix with the cactus. You can also squirt a little lime juice into the mix. Mmmmm. Chokes me up just thinking about it!

Serve as a side dish with any food and wait for "what's this?" reactions and some unexpected compliments. Some never acquire a taste for cactus but that is to be expected. There are still deadheads around that don't like onions, garlic, spinach, artichokes or even mustard! Imagine that.

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday To Me....

Celebrated my 70th Birthday yesterday rather uneventfully, though there was an unofficial celebration for me on Sunday.

My wife would not hear of just letting the day pass without food, family, friends and cake. My two sons were here, the grand kids, some dear friends and a couple of our neighbors.

We feasted on barbecue ribs, beans, rice, and green salad. Most, even took doggie bags home after the party.

In the afternoon, my son Miguel and I had gone shopping for the cake and other odds 'n ends for the party. As we unloaded the shopping cart at the counter, I happened to look down at the two candles my son was purchasing for the cake. and seeing the numbers "7" and "0" there gave me a chill. It was a snap to blow them out. After the traditional birthday song, my compadre and good friend Julian led the old timers in a verse of "Happy Trails", most appropriate, I thought.

"Ya, look good, you look good (for 70)" several of my friends repeated. "No wonder I feel tired", I replied. I wonder what I am going to be when I grow up? What have I accomplished? Wasted? I have composed my epitaph: "He coulda' been better, but he coulda' been worse." I think about these things more and more these days.

Big Girls Now

I captured this moment at a recent graduation party where a young couple showed up with these two captivating young grown-up ladies, with minuscule high heels and all.

When the music started the two put on a show for the backyard audience, complete with twirls, pouts, smiles, salutes and pirouettes.

They showed their stuff. During a break I coaxed them into a camera moment.

Princess To Go It Alone

Well, the dreaded finally came yesterday in the on-going saga of Princess, our old Chihuahua, when my son, Fernando came to cart off her remaining three pups. They are up for sale now, on the Internet. The fourth one had been sold about a week ago and Princess had lamented that one.

The plan was to do it all in one fell swoop, to distract the mother while he stole off with the brood. I filled the kitchen sink with soapy water, while my wife carried Princess in for a bath. When the bath was over, my wife dried her off, and we let her into the backyard.

She ran nervously around the backyard, searching in vain for her pups, ears stiffly erect, and sat for a long time next to the gate, leading to the driveway. The final scents of her progeny must have settled there.

I tried to empathize with the incident in human terms. The pain, the loss, the helplessness of having your children stolen away in an instant. Princess had been the absolute mother, kind, loving, nurturing and protective. She licked and kissed her pups with adoration, all day long.

And they loved and cherished their mother in return, the consummate Mama'. It was a picture to see and hear the quartet suckle and Princess rolled over on her side in total bliss. They would pile on her, nibble on her ears and tail and she tolerated every moment patiently.

Over the last few days, I had tried in vain to distance myself from the pups, in a desperate attempt to lighten the blow I knew was immanent. But the pups, Blackie, Champagne, and Fake Eyes had absolutely endeared themselves to us.

They were precious, lovable and each time I cracked open the screen door to the backyard, or opened the gate to enter it, they raced to greet me with such immense joy that it humbled me.

So here I am, El Macho, un hombre que no llora (men don't cry), lamenting the loss of our pups.

What's this?? A tear on my keyboard?

My Beautiful BMW: In Sickness and In Health

Almost 43 years ago I voiced the marriage vows to my Beautiful Mexican Wife (BMW) in Mexico City. The words were so easy to parrot: "Yeah, yeah, till death do us part and yeah, love forever, in sickness and in health, and all that stuff." I just wanted it over so we could get on to the serious business of honey-mooning in Acapulco.

Little did I know I would come to live out those vows in such a cruel and real manner.

Until a few years ago, my wife was a vibrant, hard working mother and home maker, who loved working in her home and the garden. We traveled, went camping, partied and lived life to the fullest.

Now, she spends most of the day in bed, living with unrelenting chronic back pain that no doctor seems to know how to ease. We've tried it all, chiropractors, acupuncture, rubs, recent spinal surgery, morphine patches, pain medicines whose side effects are as bad as the pain. She has undergone a dozen painful epidural shots to no avail.

People have prayed over her, and our own incessant prayers seem to go unanswered. People talk about faith in God. Just offer up your pain to God. There is a purpose to it, a plan. Oh yeah?

Easy to say. One day at a time, they remind us. The words ring hollow.

The worst part is my own helplessness; so little I can do to ease her pain and depression. I do all the shopping, I cook, I wash clothes, and half-ways keep the house clean, all the things she once so proudly did for me, I do meekly for her. It's my turn to take care of her. But such a poor caretaker she gets in return. "In sickness and in health"; the marriage vows ring loudly in my ears. They accuse me. They haunt me.

A couple of months ago I attended a local poetry workshop and the presenter told us to write something on a recent event in our lives that has been life altering and I wrote:

My wife's unrelenting pain as she writhes in bed

Is so very different than my own

which can only watch from a distance, helplessly.

Congratulations, Kudos, and Ajuas and Orales!!

Gonna brag a little about Patricia Madueno, Patti, my younger son's fiancee who last weekend graduated Summa Cum Laude, with a Bachelor's Degree in Education, from one of California's oldest and most prestigious universities, University of Pacific with all kinds of honors and accolades, and a 3.97 GPA, all because of a painful A- she got in one class! But no one's perfect and even yours truly here got a couple of C's here and there along the way.

Pictured above am I (in white Guayabera), behind her Fernando, her Fiancee, and to my right, Michaelangelo, my oldest son, and his stepson Ricardo. In the background, in blue is my Nephew, David.

She is shy, and modest about the whole thing but we all celebrated with a fest in their backyard with lots of food, Seviche (a fish/shrimp like salad with cilantro and diced onions), Birria (specially seasoned goat meat) rice, beans, and cactus salad (nopales), fresh from our backyard. Her mom and two proud younger sisters came all the way from Texas to be here, and her dad and more brothers and sisters from Ukiah were here too.

A couple of weeks ago, she was the keynote speaker in a ceremony for "Above and Beyond", students 25 and older, who return to college to finish their education, where she was honored with the Outstanding Student of her class award. All of this, while holding down a part time job as bus driver, a teacher's aide, and taking care of my son (who can be a burden at times), and her home.

A few weeks before that, she was one of a handful of students inducted into Alpha Sigma Lamda, national honor society in yet another ceremony at the University. Should I go on?

We are all so proud of her. Adelante, Patricia!!

P.S. Yes, you guessed it. I do need to add one more thing. Yesterday, Patricia was hired as a 7th grade teacher!!! Hijole!